This one is for you.

I need to tell you some things. Some things that I probably won't ever actually tell you because I'm too chicken. 

I hate the way you sometimes make me feel. The way that you take everything to heart and when you get mad you just ignore me for days and days. I hate that you don't answer the phone sometimes, if you know it's me and you don't want to talk to me, because sometimes, i'm calling about something  important. I hate the way that things only usually end because you get upset and I hate that everything we do has to be based around what other people want or what they might think. I hate that you sometimes act like you hate me even though I know you don't. 

Then... theres all the other things I don't like about being your friend. And all the things I do.

I love it when you tell me things I know you never talk to anyone else about. I love it when your randomly grab my hand and let my fingers twirl around in yours and then you take my hand and hold it, while you shut your eyes and smile. I love it when you hi five me and then tell me it's to keep the magic alive. I love it when you go to leave and ask me what I'm going to do about it, and I love pulling you back into one of your giant hugs where you stroke my back and bury your face into my neck. I love it when I go to leave, and you pull me back towards you and say "yeah okay" but at the same time you hold onto me and I know you don't really want me to leave at all. And then we lie there for so many more hours, and sometimes, we fall asleep. I love it when you order pizza at 2 am and you order a vegetarian one, even though you know I won't eat any, but you always do it just in case. I love it when you send me random text messages with smiley faces and words of happy.  I love you. For you. No matter what. I just need to know if you love me back.