Let me just say, that I am a whore to procrastination. We have this love/hate relationship. It's beautiful, it's ugly, it's sickening at times. There is something immensely satisfying about watching not just one episode of a television show, but the whole damn series in a day, or reading a book that you have read a million times before, or watching ridiculously cool youtube videos, or blogging, or writing stories or cleaning your room, and your desk and your cupboard, and cooking fancy meals, when you should definitely be doing something else. Like studying for a law exam. The thing is though, if I have nothing else I should be doing, because I am on holidays and have no commitments for the vast majority of those holidays, these things don't seem nearly as appealing. All of a sudden, I want to have real things to do again.
What is it that makes all these time wasting escapades so appealing when you can least afford to be seduced by their distraction? Is it because we want the pressure? Or because we feel too overwhelmed to even contemplate the task at hand? Perhaps we are perfectionists and find completing something on time impossible because we get so caught up in the tinsy tiny details? Or perhaps we are simply putting it off and wishing it would go away because we just genuinely couldn't give a toss.
Having just finished a particularly difficult and stressful exam period, I began to break down the reasons as to why I found it all so difficult. I think that from the possible reasons for procrastinating as listed above, I am a healthy mix of all four reasons as to why I tend to procrastinate so beautifully and why, no matter how hard I try, I can't make the urges to avoid any kind of stress related activity stop.
Overwhelmed, definitely. Hell, wouldn't you be overwhelmed if you were trying to figure out the mess that is Australia's property law?? Do I work better under pressure? Sure I do. I know I do. I can cram until the cows jump over the moon if necessary in order to get something done at the last minute. Motivation levels greatly increase when the deadline is an hour away and you have hardly even started. Perfectionist? Perhaps this one is the least applicable to me. I like generality. I like leaving the little things up in the air sometimes. Adds a sense of mystery to my essays and problem answers don't you think? And could I give a toss? Yes. Yes I could... most of the time. There does however, come a moment in every young filly's university career, where you stop caring about work, and start caring about how awesome the "How I Met Your Mother" Television show is, and at this point, no, no I really really didn't care about the horrors of law anymore. All I could do, was hope that something in Boston Legal might come in handy.
Looking back now though, I care a lot. I wish I could stop the urges to procrastinate, but it's just too damn sexy, with its naps and awesome room re arrangements. And besides, I really don't feel like taking my washing off the line. Getting it there was a struggle.
