Scare me. I dare you.

The other day, I gave blood. It might seem like a really trivial thing to some people. For me though, it was scarier than anything I had really done before. I was sitting in a chair, watching The Simpsons, eyeing off the post blood giving milkshakes and cake, with lots of people around me chatting happily, and I was sitting there scared speechlessly out of my mind. It was... horrific. So why then, would I do something that scary?

I think I have mentioned this before that every once in a while, I do stupid things for kicks because I get bored with my life. I question my existence, the reason I am alive. I go and do something that makes my adrenaline go crazy, just so I can get calm again. Last year I did a 150m bungy in New Zealand just because I felt like it. Or sometimes I sit under a train bridge and wait for a train to go roaring over the top. It's not scary, but it gets your blood pumping.  Getting needles like the ones they use for blood donations has a similar effect on my body, and I am doing something good. It's like a double whammy natural high and it felt great.  I spent  45 minutes screwing around crying, shaking, deciding whether or not I wanted to go through with it. My heart was beating so fast and everything was hazy with fear. That is how irrationally scared I was.

I have sort of come to the conclusion now, that I like being scared because it is such a strong emotion. I feel like after everything that has happened in the last few years, has made me emotionless and the only way I can find some, is to get really really scared. Anyway, I think thats why I did it. And also because I saved 3 lives.  Bonus.