Saturday night at another little bar, across the other side of town...

And so it's Saturday night again, and everyone in this small town heads to anywhere where alcohol is readily accessible and where everyone else is going. Although I used to hate this kind of life, I admit, when I can't have it, I really want it. I want to be able to go out on a Saturday, with some friends, and just watch sport on TV, drink cocktails on couches and just be merry, enjoying life, or at least taking a break from reality. It's like a little corner of the globe where everything is happy and lit up. I don't know what's happening across the road let alone on the other side of the world, but I just know that here, now, everything is perfect. The olympics is on TV, and I watched Australia win Bronze in triathlon, I saw the boys win silver in rowing, and I saw the girls take out a hockey game.

I met up with people who I haven't seen in years, and I chatted to people I don't even know but who were happy to chat because it's Saturday night.

I ate some fancy fish and chips and I downed a couple of expensive drinks that had god knows what in them.

I go home feeling like I am satisfied, a bit rejuvenated, and ready for anything that next week  might throw at me. So bring it on world, I look forward to it.

I couldn't forget this one, even if I tried.

Today I met a boy. He was around 17, with a cute, round little face, and his hair was half cut, but with a big fluffy bit at the back because the haircutting equipment had failed. He told me that he used it as a pillow because the pillow he has isn't very comfortable.

He was solidly built, with the gentle awkwardness children turning into adults often have about them. He had a smile that lit up the room and a canny sense of humour. He was clearly very intelligent and knew exactly what I was talking about as I babbled away in legal jargon. When our conversation ended he thanked me profusely and smiled his big childish grin as I left.

This boy is in jail. He is a crystal meth addict. When he was four years old, he tried to kill his father by replacing his methadone with bleach so that his dad wouldn't bash up his mum, and when he was 10, his mother killed his baby sister when she mistook the methadone for babies milk and fed it to the 1 year old.

This story, is one that I will never ever forget.

A life of crime?

Crime... where have you been all my life? I don't want to go out and commit crimes. Oh no no no, that would be very wrong indeed. But since quite early on in life, I have taken an interest in the world of crime. I follow it in the news, I stalk it on the internet, I watch murder mysteries on TV and I read intricate books about the world of criminals. I also believe in liberty, justice and human rights.

I guess it is only natural then, that I have fallen into the world of criminal defence law. Protecting those who the rest of the world seems to be against, brings a strange kind of satisfaction. It's a little bit of a wake up call. A little bit of a kick in the guts to the justice system. Everyone deserves a fair trial, everyone deserves to have their rights protected. Everyone deserves liberty. Those who are guilty generally have a story to tell, and it isn't a pleasant one. It is sad, and long and it very often starts with a mistake.

So should one little mistake, cost you your liberty? Should a lifetime of sadness end with your basic human rights being taken away from you? Should one bad choice, leave you with no more choices?

I guess what knowledge I have gained in practising criminal law, is that everyone has a secret.

 I have learned to have some faith in the phrase "beyond reasonable doubt."

 I have fuelled a passion to fight for the voices that don't get heard.

You own the sky.

Every shooting star is a wasted wish, because you are never coming back. Every time I see your face I have to remember it can only ever be a memory. When we were young we were so carefree and somewhere along the way your world crumbled and before I could blink, you were gone. But here's the thing Alex...

I feel you in every heartbeat.

I see you in every dream.

I wish I could have told you that before it was all too late.

You own the sky.

Discovering Masterchef

It was a dreary Monday night when I turned on my television during prime time, for the first time, in a very long time. Normally I am busy after dinner doing important things like hanging out on facebook or getting high scores on angry birds. On this night however, neither of those things were appealing to me, and quite frankly, I needed a dose of trash TV. A dose of filthy, disgusting, time whore telly.

I turned on Masterchef. I haven’t turned it off.

Well I have actually, because it only goes for an hour between 7-8pm, but suffice to say, I love it. The food leaves images of sugar plums dancing in my head… literally. I can taste the succulent, juicy meats and the crispy vegetables. I can taste the milky chocolate goo oozing from the cakes and the fruit compotes dripping down my tongue as they seep from all things sweet.

In addition to the food, it has the added elements of suspense, drama, friendships, and an adequate twist in every episode. Is it cooked properly? Are we going to get it out on time? Who will have a nervous breakdown today?

This is pure addictive brilliance. 

I'm pretty sure there is a white tip spider kingdom on my balcony.

So I am pretty sure there is a white tip spider kingdom on my balcony.

I'm not talking just one little spider hiding away, but I mean, those mother fuckers have built an entire kingdom out there. Theres webs all along the railings and there is a months worth of flies stuck in the web.

Every now and again I see legs poking out of the hole and once I saw a white tipped abdomen ripping open a bee. I got my binoculars out to take a closer look, because I don't want to go outside near it and one of the spiders has built this huge web right in the top corner. I think he might be the king.

Anyway, looks like I need to move house. What if they invade me? What if I get bitten? I could die. Moving seems like the only option.

At least it's raining today. Suckers.

How to eat everything on your plate when dinner tastes really bad but you don’t want to offend anyone by leaving it.

How to eat everything on your plate when dinner tastes really bad but you don’t want to offend anyone by leaving it.

Step 1. Stop thinking about how god damn awful it smells. If it does indeed smell awful. When you smell it, you preemptively taste it. Don’t do that.

Step 2. Eat the things that look the worst, first. There is a reason that you always save the icing on the cupcake to last, and that’s because it tastes delicious. If there is something that looks even mildly edible on your plate, save it, you can make up the time it takes to chew down the bad stuff, with the good stuff later.

Step 3. Place a small amount of the offending food item on the edge of your fork.

Step 4. Look enthusiastic, and take a deep breath. If you feel like this could look suss, for example, everyone is watching you, you can pass this off as a laugh.

Step 5.  Place fork in mouth.

Step 6. Swallow. *Note- do not chew. Make sure the amount is small enough that it can be swallowed directly with minimal chewing and thus without hitting your taste buds. If you must chew, flatten your tongue to the top of your mouth and keep it there until food is gone.

Step 7. Repeat until the gross food is gone. * Note. It is possible to hide some of it in a napkin if you maintain stealth. 

Step 8. Take the edible food, place small amount on fork.

Step 9. Put fork in mouth. Chew if possible, swallow.

Step 10. Request an after dinner tea or coffee. This will wash down the offensive crap you have just eaten.

Important note: Vomiting will only bring the taste back into your mouth so avoid this at all costs. Ensure throughout the dinner, you continue light conversation with occasional compliments to the cook. This will make you seem awesome, and will also boost your own self- esteem in preparation for the next bite. 

Everything tastes better with wine.
(Image from Mens Health Magazine)