How to eat everything on your plate when dinner tastes really bad but you don’t want to offend anyone by leaving it.

How to eat everything on your plate when dinner tastes really bad but you don’t want to offend anyone by leaving it.

Step 1. Stop thinking about how god damn awful it smells. If it does indeed smell awful. When you smell it, you preemptively taste it. Don’t do that.

Step 2. Eat the things that look the worst, first. There is a reason that you always save the icing on the cupcake to last, and that’s because it tastes delicious. If there is something that looks even mildly edible on your plate, save it, you can make up the time it takes to chew down the bad stuff, with the good stuff later.

Step 3. Place a small amount of the offending food item on the edge of your fork.

Step 4. Look enthusiastic, and take a deep breath. If you feel like this could look suss, for example, everyone is watching you, you can pass this off as a laugh.

Step 5.  Place fork in mouth.

Step 6. Swallow. *Note- do not chew. Make sure the amount is small enough that it can be swallowed directly with minimal chewing and thus without hitting your taste buds. If you must chew, flatten your tongue to the top of your mouth and keep it there until food is gone.

Step 7. Repeat until the gross food is gone. * Note. It is possible to hide some of it in a napkin if you maintain stealth. 

Step 8. Take the edible food, place small amount on fork.

Step 9. Put fork in mouth. Chew if possible, swallow.

Step 10. Request an after dinner tea or coffee. This will wash down the offensive crap you have just eaten.

Important note: Vomiting will only bring the taste back into your mouth so avoid this at all costs. Ensure throughout the dinner, you continue light conversation with occasional compliments to the cook. This will make you seem awesome, and will also boost your own self- esteem in preparation for the next bite. 

Everything tastes better with wine.
(Image from Mens Health Magazine)