Tonight is the first time in quite a long time, that I have been angry. I get upset sometimes, or overwhelmed, but I find it hard to be angry. Tonight... I am really fucking angry. I am angry at my friends for behaving like adolescent girls. I am angry that I don't know what is going on next year and I am angry that I can't make my own path. I am angry because I feel like people are telling me what to do all the time and because I feel like people use me as a band aid. I am angry because I am sick of uni, sick of being screwed around by tutors and lecturers, sick of having to think about studying all the time, day in and day out. I am angry because no matter how hard I try, I can't get my eating habits, emotions or relationships under control. I just want to yell and scream until there's nothing else left.
It is interesting though, anger is not an emotion I am used too. I sometimes feel mildly annoyed, but never like this. It's so strong and powerful and I like that for the first time in a long time, I am actually feeling something. Even anger, not directed at any one specific person, just pure, raw anger. How refreshing.
wow, shit honey i hope you're alright. i hate when all my emotions, eating habits, and everything gets out of control. write a list, take a bath, i promise you'll feel better soon....comment if you need a vent :) xxx
ReplyDeleteLove your blog soooo sooo much!! I hope you will follow or visit my blog:)
ReplyDeletewww.abitofeverything-nicoline.blogspot.com
Thank you so much for your comments! It always means a lot when I see that people have actually listened to what I have to say. Much love.
ReplyDelete-Jessie. x.x
Ps. I will Definitely check out your blog Nicoline :)