Take me back to the 1960s.

Autumn days, lazing

Listening to some Bob Dylan

Eyes closed, drinking, having a cigarette

Writing something life changing, realising who you are again

Realising it's not who you thought you were, puts a smile on your face

and you know that everything will be okay.

Writing.

Writing is something I used to do. I used to pick up a pen and I used to write and write until there was no more ink, nothing else left to say. I used to release the build up of emotion then build up more. I would let the pen dance across the page effortlessly, an expression of myself and of the love I had of writing. An overflow of my thoughts, the ones I couldn't keep inside anymore.

Playing the piano is something I used to do. I wasn't that great but the sound that the keys made at just the slightest touch made me so happy. I would sit there and listen to music in my head then realize all of a sudden that I was playing. I could feel the music on my fingertips and I could feel what the composers were feeling as they wrote.

Swimming is something I used to do. The water sliding over my body, my body slicing the water. Blowing bubbles, my hair flowing loosely. Opening my eyes underwater and seeing everything blurry and beautiful. I used to hate that I couldn't go any faster. I felt like a mermaid. I felt not real.

What happened to all these things? Where did they go?

Goodbye Summer.

It's always this time of year, when the summer winds turn cool, and the sky turns a little bit grey, and the rain feels a little bit icy. The warmth is no longer in the days and the leaves are turning a little brown. You just wake up one morning, and it isn't summer anymore. You wonder whether you will need a light jacket to get through the day, or whether perhaps you should put some jeans on. 

There are no mangos in the stores, and people arn't quite as cheery as they were a month ago. The beach doesn't seem quite as inviting and apparently everyone else thinks so too because its deserted most days. It's dark in the morning when you wake up and it's dark before you want to go to bed. The light is gone, the warmth is gone and all thats left is the cold.

It makes me a little bit sad. 

Fence Sitter.

I am a fence sitter. I won't lie. I don't like offending people or making assumptions before I am fully informed of the complete set of facts.  I am not afraid to share views if I have one but I feel that no matter what you are arguing there is validity on both sides. There has to be, otherwise it wouldn't be an argument. I joke about never being wrong but really, it's all just a matter of opinion.

This session, I am studying international human rights law as one of my law electives.  Its what I have always wanted. People ask me what I want to do and I say "I want to be a human rights lawyer." When I was little, the response would be "my my, that's very ambitious!" and laugh. Now, they ask me where i want to work and what I want to specialise in. What I find interesting though, is that my fence sitting is finally coming in handy. We looked last week at the issue of female circumcision. Now on a personal level, I believed that this was wrong. It should never be allowed, and the woman that think they want it are clearly disillusioned. I did however note in the textbook, that while there are definitely elements of it that are unacceptable, it is hardly, if done properly, any worse than having a boob job. A boob job means that you may never be able to breastfeed, you will be permanently scarred, you are disfiguring your natural self.  In fact the only difference between the two, is that female circumcision when done in hygienic manner and under civil circumstances is done purely symbolically. It is a deeply religious and significant exercise, that represents the liberation of a woman, and is something which men have little or no input in. When someone has a boob job, it's because they want to look hot. It's purely superficial (in most circumstances). Do I agree with either of these practices, no I do not. Can I see the validity of these practices in todays society? Yes I can.

The bottom line, is that people need to stop making assumptions and judging. We need to rethink what is right and wrong and at least begin to explore the possibility that rights are not necessarily universal. We are all different people, from different cultures, living in different places, and at some point, someone needs to realise this.

That moment when...

It's that moment. Where you too excited to sleep, because you have so much in life to look forward to, when sleep seems like your wasting precious time, when nothing and no one can possibly make you unhappy and when time seems to stand still just because you want it to go faster. You want to fast forward to the good bits. Just like in all the movies. Except this isn't a movie, it's actually happening.

Cheap thrills and herbal tea.

Unexpected thrills are the best kind. The kind that make you realise who you are you. I realise now, that I am a water girl. I need water to function. I need waves and sand and sunrises over the horizon to function. I need black. I need to wear it, look at it, embrace it. I often see things in black and it's how I can cope with the things I don't like. I need to have a gothic undertone, not a visible one, but just one that I know is there, and that I can turn to when I feel like it. I am creative. I like to take photos and drink herbal teas and write things. All the time. I like learning. I like thrills. The unexpected. Cheap love and meaningless relationships, just sometimes. I like watching movies that challenge me and I like lying under the train bridge when I know theres a train coming, after a can of redbull. It's harmless, but its thrilling. I like who I am. I don't want to change myself. I like that I am just a little bit complicated.

I lied.

Okay I didn't lie, but I did underestimate camp. It was pretty damn fun. Especially the canoeing. I actually really like canoeing.